Before I die, I want to...

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Candy Chang’s TED talk on this topic is a powerful, inspiration must-see (link http://www.ted.com/talks/candy_chang_before_i_die_i_want_to.html ). Candy reflects on her experience of losing a loved one and how this allowed her to confront the idea of death without fear. She asked herself the question of what is it that she wants to do before she dies? And then went on to find out what her neighbours had to say about it.

Many of us have been confronted with death in some way – whether it was the loss of a loved one or a near death of our own. I know that my own brush with death, made me a lot less scared of the subject. I know I can speak about death in a way that often makes other people think I am a bit weird but actually… it is part of life. Heck, if facing death makes you want to live each day with more purpose and meaning, then I say it comes bearing gifts too.

Take a moment to think about it and complete the sentence:

Before I die, I want to…

Then make a plan to make it happen. Allow your real desires to be articulated, to be put out there and then take one step towards making it a reality.

So here is mine for today (and I believe this can change depending on your mood or time of day):

Before I die, I want to know that I have made a difference. I want to feel that I have touched lives and contributed to something that is bigger than myself. I want to travel the world and feel the joys of nature. I want to see my children happy!

I invite you to complete the sentence on this blog. Make it fun, make it serious, make it funny! As you wish. Come on… let’s create a movement!

Authenticity - The scarcest, most coveted resource

“The scarcest, most coveted resources aren’t high-tech machines or highly developed cities, but unspoilt places, people, objects, animals and experiences” – Martha Beck.

I’ve recently picked up Martha Beck’s book – Finding your way in a wild new world – for the second time and came across this statement that resonated with me strongly. I often feel so bombarded with information, gadgets, technology and things so where do I go when I want to take a break? I go to find the most natural, unspoilt natural place or experience to regroup and re-energise.

While reflecting on this, it also occurred to me that when we talk about being authentic, we are essentially talking about the exact same thing. In this world, we often need to be a certain way at work – call it professional; a slightly different way at home – call that supportive and caring; and  perhaps even another way with our friends or community – call it giving and sociable. Do we leave any room to ask ourselves, what do I want to do right now? Do I sometimes need a bit of space to be me – even if it's not particularly professional or especially caring? What if being supportive towards my own needs means that something will get left undone?

A friend shared with me her experience of buying a new cell phone. She researched it heavily as there were differing opinions between 2 main brands – who shall remain nameless for the purpose of the story – and be called brand A and brand B for now. Through googling various articles and comparisons relating to the phones’ features, speaking to people who owned one or the other brand and going into the shops and looking at each, she finally came to a decision that brand B would be the ‘right’ choice. An abundance of information, so readily accessible helped her to reach the ‘right’ conclusion. However, not once did she pause to think about – what do I want? What does my gut tell me is the right phone for me? She landed up disappointed with her choice because she gave little or no recognition to her authentic desire – regardless of features, research etc.

Because a huge amount of information is so readily available and accessible, we give more credence to what’s out there than what is inside ourselves.

Where is our unspoilt place, experience, self? This is a scarce and highly coveted resource and even if we haven’t connected to that idea yet, it is something to begin accessing a little more often.

For myself, I know that through an awareness of authenticity, I can get to be professional, care for others and give support but at the same time I also get to do and have some of that for myself. I get to ask – what do I want right now? I may not get it all the time but at least I get to ask.

Leadership is...

To define leadership is like trying to catch a butterfly. I run around the garden, net poised in hand on a beautiful spring day. I see a thing of beauty and elegance – the complexity of the pattern on the butterfly’s wings enchants me as I try to take a closer look. An understanding of how hard the butterfly has worked to come into being inspires me and the thought of all that effort, all that beauty but for one day of life! Twenty four hours of living and then its gone. What kind of an impact does the butterfly have in our world? Yet twenty four hours is a complete lifetime for that butterfly. As I think these thoughts, I enjoy the sense of freedom that the butterfly experiences as it dances in the air. As soon as the butterfly flits closer to my net and I think I have it, it elegantly flies away again. After a while, I’m exhausted. I have tried my best and I decide to let the butterfly go.


Similarly with leadership. Leadership is a thing of beauty, complexity, energy, freedom and purpose. It is found in every area of life, yet what is it? Some may define it as being in charge of getting tasks done. Others may say that it is about getting people into action. Some may think that it refers to the charismatic type of leadership that inspires organisations, communities and even nations and others may reflect on the kind of leadership it takes to raise a child. Just like the butterfly, as soon as we think we have a clear definition, it seems to flutter by, making room for another idea to come in, hence augmenting and enhancing the original definition. It seems to encompass all the definitions mentioned and more. When we look at it closely, we understand the complexity within it that can’t be bound by a single definition or way of being as a leader. Leadership requires freedom to evolve and purpose in which to set its foundation. It is a place of influence, inspiration and action and yet it is generated from a place within. 


Just like the butterfly, the leader will exist for a defined period of time, with the sincere hope that the beauty, complexity, freedom and purpose will remain for much longer.

Core Values - the what and how?

Our values are so closely linked to our identity that we are often not aware that they are the drivers of our thinking and actions.

Can you remember a time when you had an experience of everything flowing smoothly, happening at the right time and leaving you feeling fantastic? This is an experience of living a life that is in alignment with your values...

Have you ever made a decision that left you feeling dissatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled? This is an experience of being misaligned with your values... How often does this happen?

Share you experiences of discovering your values and noticing any alignment or misalignment... What is the impact of this on your life?

The 10% Rule of Thumb for achieving goals

Do you have goals that just seem too big to achieve and every time you start working on them, you give up before making any real progress?

Try the 10% rule of thumb - instead of going for the massive goal, ask yourself what do I need to do to achieve 10% of it for now. For example, if you would like your business to double its turnover from $100 000 to $200 000, instead of going for the full extra $100 000, how about going for 10% of it to start with. What would be required of you to increase your turnover by  $10 000 for now?

Does this seem more manageable? more doable and achieveable? Give it a try...

I'd love to hear your thoughts so please share your examples, questions and stories with me...